i just wanted to let you know that doris and i are getting back together.

she sent me a gift from Pies R Us and it turned my stomach.

so i said if you want to, i will.

so she did.

i did.

and now we've done it, we thought we might as well muck in together again.

she's promised to wash under her arms at least once a fortnight.
and i've promised to be loving and attentive.

to her pet goat, alistair.

i just thought you'd like to know.