i rang gordon the brown up this morning to give him a piece of my mind.
well, he obviously needs a bit of someone else's because he has clearly lost his.

anyway, i told him that if people on the isle of britain spent less time on surveys and scare stories, they might have more energy for more important things.
like what, he said.
i'll give you that piece of my mind another time, i told him.

this was prompted by news which reached me by bush telegraph today - doris said she heard it while having a brazilian at kev the barbers.  'brazilians while u wait' it says on the door.
apparently, more than half of british people think the countryside is boring.
one in ten adults are unable to identify a sheep, and 83 per cent could not recognise a bluebell.

now, be honest - it might be sad, but does it really matter?

surely the important thing is that you can pick out a lamb chop, and a £5 bunch of chrysants at tesco, isn't it?