i was overcome as doris walked into the hall.
the smell of pickled onion was quite overpowering, but she looked ok.
i kissed her in the porch, but she said she preferred to be kissed on the mouth.

i took a deep breath.

but i took too long over it and before i knew what was happening, i was pinned by the banisters.
i finally regained consciousness with the aid of a bucket of pigswill kindly tipped over me by kev the grinning chauffeur.

this had the advantage of taking the edge off the pickled onion aroma.

i asked doris where she'd been.
she just said: 'wouldn't you like to know?'
i said 'yes, i would, that's why i asked.'

she blew me a kiss and said she'd tell me her surprise later.

she minced sexily upstairs, and it was then that i realised just what i'd been missing.
she promised to lay the stairs carpet when she got back.

anyway, i can't wait to hear her news ...