i gathered the royal household round the breakfast table this morning.
it was the start of a new policy - social inclusion.
i tell them what i want, and they ALL do it.

kev the chauffeur, for example, decided to upgrade the royal limmo while i was away.
outrageous!
so, for no good reason, out goes the reliant robin turbo, and in comes what he alleges is an environment friendly
rover.
i now see his reasoning - it won't start, so environmental damage is relatively insignificant, unless you count the contamination of my cabbage patch with rust and engine oil.

anyway, i laid it down good and proper.
as well as you can do with a toasted soldier in your hand (steady, doris...)

the message is, i'm in charge, if that's ok with them.
so no more acting on their own initiative.
good grief! what's the world coming to?

have to hurry now.
i'm performing the opening ceremony at my island's newest attraction - the abbatoir roundabout tv service.
my traffic engineers have noted that there are always long tailbacks here, which is good because we don't want too many visitors.
so to further encourage queueing and frustration at this traffic blackspot, we have installed giant tv screens showing a slide show of doris and i on holiday. 
analysis shows that the longest journey delays coincide with a rather intimate shot of doris in the hotel pool, with commentary by david attenborough.

toodle pip!