doris is really in the christmas mood today.
she's just finished stuffing the turkey (down her neck) and is now testing the mince pies she baked.
if she leaves one for me, i'll count myself lucky.

when i asked her what she wanted for christmas, she batted her eyelashes (nearly blew me off my feet) and pouted her lips seductively.
i guess that means she wants a pair of glasses and some lip balm.

our guests at christmas dinner this year are the usual line-up of world leaders.
mr obama is travelling over on the same jet as my lovely friend, scunthorpe hilton.
cherie blair is interrupting her participation in the world gurning championships to pop over for a taste of my saveloys.
even mr putin has accepted my invitation.  he says he can't wait to have the last dance with doris.  if doris takes a fancy to him, i promised him it probably would be his last dance.

must go - doris is decorating the christmas tree.
she's hanging up a few meat pies on strings, an empty box of chocolates (she couldn't wait, of course), and the village fairy (his name is malcolm and he seems to quite like spending his christmas at the top of our tree, admiring his baubles).

it all gives you a nice warm glow, doesn't it?