elvis was a regular visitor to the isle of kevin, which not many people know about.

he used to enjoy his lunches with doris.
very partial to a meat pie was our elvis.
he used to have speed eating contests but doris always came first.

anyway, his visits stopped when his manager, colonel tom parker (i think he also invented kentucky fried chicken, but i could be wrong)
stopped elvis travelling abroad.  you see, the young elvis was an illegal immigrant, and colonel tom was worried that he might not be allowed
back into america.

doris didn't care.
the way she saw it, it meant double pie rations for her.

so now you know why elvis never appeared at butlins, minehead.