doris whispered into my ear - i know something you don't know.
so do i - i replied, confusingly.
bet your secret isn't as interesting as mine, she replied after some thought and a bite of a bounty.
'tis too, i quipped petulantly.
tell me then.
won't - you first.
doris walked furtively to the door, and stepped outside suddenly, her head darting left and right as if she was trying to cross the M25 on a friday afternoon. then she scurried back to my side and told me ...
her big secret (yawn) was that that kev the chauffeur has got a crush on me.
but i already knew that. in fact, he asked me to marry him once, and i said i couldn't because i had to take the ferret to the vets for a vasectomy.
no, the vet wasn't having the vasectomy ...
anyway, doris was gagging to know my secret.
so i went off to make a cup of tea.
i'm going to make her wait.
and you.
