the host nation was disqualified from the shove ha'penny competition for using electric powered rulers.

over in the tiddlywinks arena, the british team was ordered to go home and change because they were showing too many bum cracks.

paula radcliffe limped out of the hopping event when her good leg got caught in the bumper of a passing motorhome and she was booked for speeding.  she still finished second behind a 12 year old russian who once beat mike tyson in an arm wrestling contest.

britain had high hopes of a medal in the sailing competition until the chinese decided to manufacture a freak wind which blew the british team off course.  they were last seen rounding cape horn in their dinghy.

the american rednecks won gold in the heated discussion event.  britain was disqualified for apologising for getting too worked up.

and in the football, brazil won gold for having the highest number of billionaire players in its team.