i had it out with kev the chauffeur today.
but it was quite chilly so we put them away and continued our conversation.
i told him he'd be sacked if he didn't pull his socks up.
dullard that he is, he sniggered and pointed at his open toed sandals.
that is exactly the attitude that will get you the sack, i yelled.
he grinned foolishly and gestured at the bag of potatoes he was carrying.
i shouted very loudly indeed: all right, then, fired.
he took out an extremely large zippo and lit a roll-up, tears of mirth rolling down his wizened cheek.

i was, by this stage, beside myself.
i don't know who put that cardboard cut out next to me, but i suspect it was the one and only kev the ex-chauffeur.

i reached back into the deep recesses of my memory to find the right words.
the words that i found were mama and wee wee.

kev stubbed his fag out on the wing mirror of the royal reliant robin convertible and coughed out his words: i wanted to ask you for some time off.

so i hurled his wristwatch to the ground, laughed hysterically, and stalked off.

he's all right, really.  i'll keep him on for a bit longer.
better the devil you know, eh?