the peak holiday season will soon be upon us, and i am busy preparing for the installation of a new attraction to bring in the right sort of tourist.
as regular visitors to my island will know, we do not welcome ramblers, particularly those of khaki shorts and two walking sticks variety;  we do not like coach parties full of people who count the pennies in their beige handbags and spray fixer on their perms;  and we do not like families with uncontrolled children.

so i'm looking at a couple of possibilities:

the world's largest maze:  just pay ten pounds and you can stay all day (in fact, you definitely will be there all day);  families with loud children pay a reduced rate and will enjoy dealing with various obstacles, like starving wolves, venomous snakes, that sort of thing.

another world first - cool crazy golf with coaching by kev woods (tiger's brother);  a free pringle sweater and there's only one hole - the 18th, then it's straight into kev's klubhouse for themed dining - toad in the hole in one, for example.

i also like the idea of a solar powered monorail, so carefully selected tourists (the ones we don't want) can get on straight off the ferry, go once round the island and back on the ferry for the return trip.

oh yes.  it's going to be a great fun packed holiday season (for me).