doris had only just closed the door on richard and judy (and wouldn't we all like to do that?) when she turned to me and pouted.
on anyone else, that would make you feel a bit sympathetic.
but doris just looked silly.
her lips stuck out so much they looked like two hot water bottles and i could hardly see her eyes.
eventually, she said she felt unhealthy and wanted five a day.
i looked at my watch and grinned seductively - i think i can find five windows in my busy schedule, i whispered, dabbing a little musk behind each ear.
no - fruit, she yelled... and threw a right hook.
where she found it, i do not know, but luckily the hook missed and implanted itself in the perfect position on the wall for me to hang up my medallions.
getting rather ratty now, i snarled and brandished my banana - have this, then, i muttered ungraciously.
we were getting nowhere.
she stomped off with one of those bags for life (and they really meant it - it was at least six foot deep, suggesting that when doris had finished filling it with cakes, she could live in it).
ten minutes later, she's sitting in front of the richard and judy show, slurping on watermelon while mashing bananas with her bare feet.
it might be healthy, but after an hour of that sort of intake, she's sleeping on her own tonight...much like judy, i imagine.
