when i was a teenager, i had so many spots i could pop a few just by smiling.

i adopted the zero tolerance approach, as recommended by my sadistic brother in law.
this involved pulling a razor over the whole lot and splashing cheap aftershave all over.
it stung like hell and made my face so red my face became one big boil.
this didn't do much for my pulling power.
so when the optician said i had to wear my thick stupid glasses all the time, i came to the conclusion that women would just have to wait and it was their loss.
trouble is, the spots kept coming.
they disappeared from most of my face, but then kept erupting on my forehead so that i began to wonder if i was actually an alien.
still, if i grew a fringe - no-one would notice them, would they?
so - now we have, stupid long fringe, thick stupid looking glasses, and pulsating boils.
i came to the further conclusion that a career in the movies was probably out for the time being too.
that's when i took up smoking.
hardly surprising, when you think about it!