guess who's coming to dinner tonight?

these two ...

clinton

yes, it's true. they are very close. in fact, i do believe they want to share a room.
in which case, they can have the downstairs toilet - i'm not having them mucking about on my best lino.

hilary phoned this morning, wondering how many bags to bring with her.
i told her she could bring cherie blair if she wanted.
osama said he might be late on account of he was checking his primaries.
i told him he could do what he liked behind closed doors.

the entertainment this evening is being provided by the island fit club, who will be giving a demonstration of nude kung fu.
this will be followed by doris and flossie's disco diva routine, in which they gyrate round a broom handle to the tune of 'my old man's a dustman'.
and finally, kev the chauffeur will arrive in the royal reliant robin with a consignment of 'old mans pies' from kev's cafe - so called because they are very crusty.

then i suppose we'll have to leave the two lovebirds alone for the night in their four poster water bed.  this is actually in kit form - four posts with a tarpaulin and a bucket of water - so they can make their own.

and just in case they don't make sweet music together, i've briefed the local brass band to play a few marching tunes at about four am.
that should perk them up a bit.