today is silly day, here on the isle of kevin.

events include my opening speech, which i shall read out backwards while sitting on a dog's back.
then the fairground swings into action - featuring the rollercoaster dodgems, where one of the cars flies off the tracks in a random fashion and is flung into the sea.  there is of course no danger, because we have a fleet of rescue pedalos in position, propelled by refugees from the island blindfold club. 
at lunchtime, i shall be launching the pie throwing competition.  doris and flossie stand with their gobs open and people queue up to pay a pound for the privilege of trying to throw a five pound steak and kidney into one of their orifices. 
and tonight, the grand finale - an open air concert without any music. it's a unique island tradition.  everyone gets free admission as long as they bring along something that they can make music with.
i'm taking a bathtub and wooden spoon, for example.  
last year, kev the chauffeur won a prize for the sound he made using only a sausage machine and a whoopee cushion.
on behalf of the whole island community, i hope you have an equally silly day.