another random fact about me ...

i am, of course, extremely handsome, but my mouth is a bit small inside.
the result was that, as a kid, i had far too many teeth for my own good.
i could have sold my spare teeth at a car boot sale or even opened my own tooth factory
so my kindly dentist decided enough was enough and agreed with my kindly parents that he would take five teeth out in one session, then fit a brace to ensure that the gnashers he was going to leave alone would realign perfectly.
needless to say, i had no say in this.

so one day after school i was strapped into the electric chair, pumped full of laughing gas, and woke up with a mouth full of blood just as the mad professor was pushing this horrible plastic and wire brace into my aching gob.

i still remember the smell of the gas, the taste of the plastic in my mouth, and the fact that i was spitting blood on the long walk home.

i swore if i ever met that dentist again (when i was bigger than him), i'd flatten him - or maybe remove some of his personal parts.

but i never did.

and the result of all this pain and torture is that i still have a nice cluster of slightly crooked bottom teeth.

many years have passed, but i often wonder if i'll get the chance of revenge!