doing anything interesting this weekend?
one of my subjects asked me that as i paid a state visit to the new gents toilet near the market square.
i made a couple of wisecracks about royal flushes and george michael but they fell on deaf ears.
people were more interested in trying out the facilities - so many people hopping from one foot to the other.
why don't they learn bladder control?

my weekend?
oh, yes.
well, gordon the brown is coming across, in a manner of speaking.
he wants a tete a tete.
i told him we're out of tetes but he's catching the last ferry tonight, and i hope he remembers the oars because we're out of petrol.
can't afford it, thanks to him.

i've lined up a sherry and meat pie reception, and dancing till dawn at the black pudding disco.
no doubt doris will want to do her own version of skinny dipping afterwards.
but last time she bathed in the sea, three fishermen were consulting their maps and thinking they'd discovered a new island.

saturday morning will be formal discussions about the future direction of the world.
i think it's in orbit round the sun, but gordon's not got a clue.

but don't worry - i'll see if i can persuade him to cut the price of petrol.
otherwise, how is he ever going to get back home?

see?
clever, eh?