i have just presented awards at the island horticultural society annual show.
i thought you might like to hear the speech what i made ...

 congratulations to all of you on the size of your vegetables and the interesting ways in which you have displayed them.
i particularly enjoyed the entry from the island pornographic club.
well done gladys and albert.  we never thought you had it in you.
it was highly unusual and certainly gave us a different perspective on meat and two veg.
i was pleased to see st kevin ambulance standing by to render assistance to some of our more sensitive visitors.
special thanks also to st kevin the hun primary school. 
their clever interpretation of 'a school trip' was very much appreciated.  how they managed to make that effigy of the headteacher from a cauliflower and a few carrots, i will never know.  and how clever to impale her on a stick of celery!
such imagination.
finally, a word of praise, for the 'best in show'.
doris and flossie, my two charming old queens, pulled out all the stops for their lady godiva display.
let's forget for a moment the fact that the horse's legs gave out under their combined weight, and remember our delight as they made their grand entrance, covering their modesty with bags of king edwards and strategically placed turnips.
worthy winners, indeed.

 people seemed to enjoy it so much, they were throwing their vegetables at me.

what it is to be so popular!