she does need to go to finishing school but maybe prison life would suit her better.

not only does she speak with her mouthful, she kisses admirers with a gob full too.
it's just not on.
i mean you don't catch the queen of the isle of britain chewing on a pasty while she's watching the royal duck race in the royal latrines, do you?
or spitting out a gobstopper into her handbag for later just before she hangs a medal on an old person's outstretched member?

no.

anyway, i've given doris a final warning and told her she will have to submit to a performance review meeting in a couple of weeks.
we will agree targets, set benchmarks, fill in a few forms, shake hands and file the paperwork.

that should do the trick.

but if i catch her with a pie at tonight's piano recital, it won't be going in her mouth, i promise you that.
i'll find somewhere else to shove it.