i feared the worst when i got back from kilmarnock last night.
it was fear that albert would have flown the nest, and alberta would be giving me coy looks and inviting me in for coffee and mouse nibbles.

i was right at one level.
she was beckoning me over.
albert had cleared off (i could tell because his hover skate board had gone - he's into all the gadgets).

but alberta didn't have nookie in mind.

she batted her eyelids and asked if i'd mind fixing up a shelf.
why? what's wrong with piling stuff up on the floor?

so i've got to go round there this morning.
i can see her zooming round with her dyson,wearing a pink apron (her, not the dyson).

thing is - is that all she wants, or is this just a clever womanly ploy?
once i've put the shelf up, will she...

  • seduce me?
  • give me a tenner for my time and trouble?
  • ask me to run to the supermarket with her and carry her bags?
  • invite me on a camping holiday?
i really should know better at my age, but i've got me toolkit cleaned and oiled, so here we go.